One Piece of Advice For A Beautiful Marriage

November 1, 2016

People say that marriage is hard, but we haven’t experienced that. We’ve been in difficult life situations, sure, but marriage is the good part of it.

We were at a wedding not too long after we got married and there was a place to write advice for the couple. Caleb wrote one simple piece of advice, and it suddenly made sense why our marriage is so good, so beautiful.

There's lots of Christian marriage advice out there, but this one piece of advice needs to be the foundation of your marriage.

As I stared at my husband-to-be down on one knee the night he proposed, I knew this was God’s work. Caleb and I had worked together at a summer camp several years before and had become friends when I moved closer.

Never did I imagine that he would quickly become my best friend and that God would lead us down the road of marriage and parenthood. It has been a wonderful road to travel, with God Himself as our guide.

There's lots of Christian marriage advice out there, but this one piece of advice needs to be the foundation of your marriage.
When you work together at summer camp, Wednesdays are for matching camo pants.

During our engagement, we heard lots of “advice” about marriage. Though all of it was given with the best of intentions, most of it was inapplicable or actually discouraging.

In our few months of marriage, I thought occasionally about what I would tell an engaged couple if they came to me for marriage advice. Among the list were tokens of wisdom like “have fun together,” “always kiss each other goodnight,” and “make sure you communicate.”

And don’t get me wrong; all of those are absolutely important in a marriage. But they’re not what holds a marriage together.

A marriage will not be held together by two people who just love each other. A marriage will not be held together by the cutest kids that you could ever dream of creating. A marriage will not be held together by going to church, attending counseling, or reading the best written marriage books.

No, hear me out on this one. A marriage will be held together by God and God alone.

There's lots of Christian marriage advice out there, but this one piece of advice needs to be the foundation of your marriage.
At our wedding, we took communion and prayed together. It was the perfect start to our marriage.

And that brings me to the one piece of advice that leads to a beautiful marriage. It’s not communication, it’s not church, and it’s not kissing each other goodnight (although you should definitely do that). 🙂 It is simply this:

Pray together every day.

Every night, before we turn off the light, Caleb holds my hand and prays. Some nights, it’s mostly praying for other people. Some nights, it’s praying completely for us. And some nights, it’s a 30 second prayer of exhaustion. But always, ALWAYS, we pray together before we go to sleep.

There's lots of Christian marriage advice out there, but this one piece of advice needs to be the foundation of your marriage.
Our families prayed over us at the start of our wedding. Such a special moment.

This is it, friends. This is my advice for you. Pray together every day. It ushers God into your marriage and allows Him to move, often in ways that you don’t even see or realize.

It is one simple act of submission and obedience that will make all the difference. And I promise, it will make your marriage beautiful. ❤︎
The Dating Divas Store - products to strengthen your marriage!

Do you and your spouse pray together? What advice would you give newlyweds? Leave me a comment and let me know!

More marriage advice:

21 Ways To Intentionally Love Your Husband Every Day

The Perfect Way To Make Your Spouse Feel Appreciated Every Day

15 Verses To Encourage Your Husband

22 Comments

  • Kristin

    November 1, 2016 at 1:15 pm

    This is such a great reminder, Abbey and I completely agree. We don’t pray together every day, but I think making it a together-daily-habit is a wonderful idea. We try to read the bible and pray together but its sporadic. Thank you for the reminder of how important this is!

    1. smalltownsoul

      November 1, 2016 at 1:43 pm

      Thank you so much, Kristin! I believe it’s something that has impacted our marriage in the best way, and I hope it does the same for y’all! 🙂

  • Lori

    November 1, 2016 at 5:24 pm

    What great advice…my husband and I have been married for nine years and we still don’t have this down. You are off to a great start! My best advice for engaged couples/newlyweds is usually regarding communication and conflict resolution. I think we have always done really well in this area. Thanks so much for sharing!

    1. smalltownsoul

      November 2, 2016 at 9:54 am

      Thank you, Lori! I absolutely agree with your advice about communication; it is sooo important! 🙂

  • Heather with WELLFITandFED

    November 1, 2016 at 10:46 pm

    We do not have this one figured out yet. It is great that you do. I am still super happily married. Fifteen years!! But seriously great foundation for you two to start on.

    1. smalltownsoul

      November 2, 2016 at 9:54 am

      That is wonderful, Heather! Fifteen years is awesome accomplishment! What a beautiful journey! Thank you so much! 🙂

  • Leah

    November 2, 2016 at 9:20 am

    Love the reminder to pray together every night. It’s SO important to grow in faith together as a couple. Keep doing what you’re doing 🙂
    -Leah

    1. smalltownsoul

      November 2, 2016 at 9:53 am

      Thank you, Leah!! Growing in faith is part of the sweet journey of marriage! 🙂

  • Jessica

    November 2, 2016 at 10:04 am

    Hi Abbey! While I don’t agree that marriage isn’t hard (I think it’s one of the hardest things we’ll ever do, but the work is worth doing and the reward is so great!), I do agree that praying together each night is one of the best things a married couple can do. It protects us from going to bed angry and from falling out of touch with each other and it points us back to God! I know our nightly prayers are mostly expressing gratitude for the gifts of our day and I love this habit we’ve built our marriage on. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this!!

    1. smalltownsoul

      November 3, 2016 at 9:04 am

      That’s a beautiful thought, Jessica! Thank you so much! I absolutely believe that prayer is one of the best foundations for a marriage, and I’m so glad that you are seeing that in your marriage as well! 🙂

  • Grady

    November 2, 2016 at 11:14 am

    Such a beautiful message, Abbey! I’m glad to have read it 🙂 I completely agree that God is what holds a marriage together!

    1. smalltownsoul

      November 3, 2016 at 9:04 am

      Thank you, Grady! 🙂 He is definitely the most important part of a marriage!

  • Catherine Short

    November 2, 2016 at 2:51 pm

    I’ve been married for 8.5 years + together for 11. Eeek. I totally agree — I’ve always said life is hard, not marriage. The actually act of joining in union and living life with my husband has never been the hard part.

    1. smalltownsoul

      November 3, 2016 at 9:05 am

      Aw, that is wonderful Catherine! 🙂 I agree that living life with my husband is the great part, not the hard part. Thank you so much! 🙂

  • Rachel G

    November 2, 2016 at 6:01 pm

    Glad you are enjoying newlywedded life! Our six anniversary is in a month and my husband and I would still say marriage is easy. 🙂 We like to have our prayer times together in the morning before he heads off to work.

    1. smalltownsoul

      November 3, 2016 at 9:06 am

      Thank you, Rachel! 🙂 It is certainly a blessing! Aw, congratulations! Praying in the morning would be a wonderful way to start the day!

  • Erin

    November 3, 2016 at 9:54 am

    That’s awesome! I love that you and your husband have found something that works so well for your marriage. My husband and I aren’t religious, but similarly, we spend some time each night laying in bed talking before we go to sleep 🙂

    1. smalltownsoul

      November 4, 2016 at 10:16 am

      Thanks so much for reading, Erin! 🙂

  • Sarah

    December 3, 2016 at 1:57 pm

    Love this. And it’s something my husband and I need to work on. Thank you for the reminder.

    1. Abbey

      December 3, 2016 at 2:17 pm

      Thank you, Sarah! It’s a journey for all of us, and something we can all improve on! 🙂

  • Terri Steffes

    December 3, 2016 at 3:37 pm

    We will be married 40 years in June. Prayer held us together. Not just praying together, but praying for each other. Praying for guidance. Praying for patience. Praying to be a better wife. Asking others to pray for us. Having our parents pray for us. That’s what did it for us.

    1. Abbey

      December 3, 2016 at 6:12 pm

      What a beautiful testimony, Terri! Thank you so much for sharing! The power of prayer is so evident in your story! 🙂

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